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Sometimes Life Just Plain Hurts

Beautiful baby Maddison went to join Jesus in her heavenly home, but no tbefore touching many lives on this earth.

As an innocent little child I was taken into an unforgettable nightmare that would haunt me for many years to come. My so-called “father” managed to abuse me mentally and sexually at the age of three. I dressed in many layers of clothing every day to keep this monster of a father away from me. As more evidence came clear and the CPS reports came through, my parents finally got a divorce. My mother found herself single with two very young children to raise and nowhere to go. She had to work full time so she could put food on the table and shoes on our feet. After what seemed like a life-time of waiting, my mom found a Christian man that would soon become our step-father. They got married and our new family moved to Washington where we would be far from the abuse.

In Seattle, I lived with my parents where I continued to thrive and finished High School with a 3.5 GPA. However, I began to make unwise and unhealthy choices right after graduation. Soon, I found myself a boyfriend and moved in with him right away. Since Ithat didn’t work out, I was right back where I started, homeless and with no desire to live. I was pregnant, embarrassed, ashamed and most of all I was disappointed in myself, because I knew better.

Knowing that I didn’t have any resources for housing, I searched the net and eventually found a home in Gresham, for single young pregnant women called Bethany House. The first couple of weeks were very difficult for me. There were many tears shed and I felt so trapped. Even though I wanted to get back to Seattle as fast as I could, God had a very different plan in store for me. I finally started to blossom. I soon realized that I was going to be a victor and not a victim, anymore.

Next, God guided me into a job that I totally loved and continued to improve. But, one night I returned home and my legs were swollen like tree trunks. It was determined that I had the deadly preeclampsia and I was immediately rushed directly to the hospital. My precious daughter was brought into the world the next morning (February 23) an emergency C-section, at 26 weeks, weighing only 1 lb 9 oz, and just 12 inches long.

I’m sad to say, Maddison never made it home from the NICU. Precious little Mady went to be with the Lord on March 30th, 2008. Mady touched so many people’s lives and did miraculous things that only a little angel could have done and she changed her mother’s life forever. As much as I miss her and my heart is broken, I am so thankful that Mady isn’t suffering anymore.




Related story: "Grief Tips"

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