Sometimes Life Just
Plain Hurts
Beautiful baby Maddison went to join Jesus in
her heavenly home, but no tbefore touching many lives on this
earth.
As an innocent little child I was taken into
an unforgettable nightmare that would haunt me for many years
to come. My so-called “father” managed
to abuse me mentally and sexually at the age of three. I dressed
in many layers of clothing every day to keep this monster of
a father away from me. As more evidence came clear and the
CPS reports came through, my parents finally got a divorce.
My mother found herself single with two very young children
to raise and nowhere to go. She had to work full time so she
could put food on the table and shoes on our feet. After what
seemed like a life-time of waiting, my mom found a Christian
man that would soon become our step-father. They got married
and our new family moved to Washington where we would be far
from the abuse.
In Seattle, I lived with my parents where I
continued to thrive and finished High School with a 3.5 GPA.
However, I began to make unwise and unhealthy choices right
after graduation. Soon, I found myself a boyfriend and moved
in with him right away. Since Ithat didn’t work out,
I was right back where I started, homeless and with no desire
to live. I was pregnant, embarrassed, ashamed and most of all
I was disappointed in myself, because I knew better.
Knowing
that I didn’t have any resources for housing, I searched
the net and eventually found a home in Gresham, for single
young pregnant women called Bethany House. The first couple
of weeks were very difficult for me. There were many tears
shed and I felt so trapped. Even though I wanted to get back
to Seattle as fast as I could, God had a very different plan
in store for me. I finally started to blossom. I soon realized
that I was going to be a victor and not a victim, anymore.
Next, God guided me into a job that I totally
loved and continued to improve. But, one night I returned home
and my legs were swollen like tree trunks. It was determined
that I had the deadly preeclampsia and I was immediately rushed
directly to the hospital. My precious daughter was brought
into the world the next morning (February 23) an emergency
C-section, at 26 weeks, weighing only 1 lb 9 oz, and just 12
inches long.
I’m
sad to say, Maddison never made it home from the NICU. Precious
little Mady went to be with the Lord on March 30th, 2008. Mady
touched so many people’s lives and did miraculous things
that only a little angel could have done and she changed her
mother’s life forever. As much as I miss her and my heart
is broken, I am so thankful that Mady isn’t suffering
anymore.
–Rachel
Related story: "Grief
Tips"